Six Behaviors Waiters Can Use to Maximize Their Tips Scientifically

You may know what other waiters say, but what does science say about how a waiter can make the most tips? Of course, the first question is whether or not there is scientific evidence concerning this question at all. Yes, there is. So, what do we know, psychologically speaking, about how a waiter (server, waitperson) can maximize his or her tips?

happy smiling waiter delivering drinks to table — Smiling is mandatory for big tips.

Most of the research concerning customer tipping has centered on behaviors that cause tips to be increased, reduced, or withheld. You may think that it would be hard to “measure” what behaviors would garner to best tips. But, if you think about it, the tip IS the measure.

A big tip signals customer satisfaction, much of the time. So, researchers have compared behaviors to other behaviors, including varying what behaviors were used at different times to see what resulted in the best tips.

Michael Lynn, Ph.D., an associate professor of consumer behavior and marketing at the Cornell University School of Hotel Administration has written a highly informative article summarizing some of the research into tipping behavior. 1

Some of the effective behaviors are quite simple and pretty much foolproof. A few, however, depend on the circumstances and even the sex of the customer. Keep in mind that some of these behaviors may only be fully applicable or effective in the U.S. Other countries have different tipping cultures and traditions. The same studies performed in America might have had completely different outcomes in Britain, for example.

The Seven Simple Habits That May Increase Your Tips

There are six simple behaviors that could increase your tips: smiling, greeting, touching, squatting, writing thank you, and drawing happy faces. It is up to you to decide which of these behaviors you are most comfortable with, but there are a couple that you cannot ignore.

Smiling

There is no substitute for a good smile. Keeping a smile on your face at all times may be the easiest thing you can do to ensure more regular and greater tips. I know, I know, it’s hard to smile some days! And, sometimes, you are supposed to fake it, right?

And, the customer might realize that you are just faking it anyway, so why bother? It’s hard to fake a smile for long.

There comes a time when the mere act of smiling can actually change your mood, making a fake smile a real one! And, since it will positively affect the mood of the entire table-server interaction, everybody will become more smiley.

Sure, there are times when no amount of smiling will make a customer tip more. But compared with the alternative, feeling and acting miserable, you’d be making a huge mistake not to smile when appropriate and see if the tips start rolling in. No news here. Restaurant managers have long instructed their wait staff to SMILE!

Among all the behaviors mentioned here, smiling has the most potential for affecting an increase in your tips, for both male and female waiters. And yes, a big smile is more effective than a small smile. Waiters are often instructed to “paint on a smile.”

Nobody continuously smiles and there is no reason to make your face muscles sore by trying to walk around with a big grin on your face all day long. Smile as often as seems natural. Smile when approaching a table, and smile when leaving. 2

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Greeting Customer and Introducing Yourself by Name

We expect that greeting customers and introducing yourself by name should increase tips. One study 3, tested greeting customers and introducing yourself by name at a Charlie Brown’s Restaurant in Southern California.

Two-person parties coming into the restaurant were assigned to either a “name” group or a “no name” group. If a couple were in the name group, the waiter approached and said something like “Good Morning. My name is Kim, and I’ll be serving you this morning. Have you ever been to Charlie Brown’s for brunch before?

If the couple was in the no-name group, the same basic greeting was used, except the waiter did not give her name. Greeting and introducing by name proved to cause much greater tips than in the no-name group, up to 23% opposed to 15%. Of course, the greeting must be genuine and friendly! It doesn’t matter what you say if you say it in a surly way.

I would leave out the “Have you ever been to…” part. Customers don’t want to be quizzed before they dine, as I’ve stated vehemently in 7 Dumb Things that Restaurants Do. However, if this is your restaurant’s policy, you may not have a choice.

Touching

This is a tricky one. Touching the customer? That could go South real quick! You’re right for thinking that. This is one of those behaviors that works, but you need to judge the situation. The results of research seem fairly clear-cut: touching works, for both male and female servers.

A casual touch that lasts for maybe a second and a half, on the shoulder, or even on the palm, can work wonders. I would surmise that when dealing with male and female couples, or any couple for that matter, you may want to parcel out the touches evenly. However, the research suggests that touching the female member of a party is most effective.

Also, avoid making eye contact while doing it! If a male waiter looks deep into a female customer’s eyes while his hand lingers on her shoulder, she is going to become VERY uncomfortable, and if her boyfriend or husband is there, he may have to deal with more than her discomfort. So, be aware of the difference between a quick and casual friendly touch and outright creepy flirtation!

I wouldn’t “touch” the palm-touching behavior if it were me, but according to the research, a quick palm touch or two, such as while giving change, works even better than the shoulder.

Your manager may well discourage you from EVER touching a customer, fearing that they will be uncomfortable being touched. Refer them to the research but protect your job! When a touch is quick and casual, most people don’t even realize they have been touched. The positive response seems to be unconscious and primal. A friendly and gentle touch is a positive social signal.

Squatting Down at the Table

This may be a controversial one. Many restaurant managers may tell you that squatting down beside your guest’s table is always and completely unprofessional. On a restaurant makeover show (don’t remember the name of the show), for example, I remember the show’s host telling a waiter that their habit of squatting down at tables was unprofessional, slovenly, and lazy.

The host did not know what he was talking about! Your manager may think it unprofessional and “too familiar” but your customers may have quite a different experience.

Now, I’ll admit that I do not like it when waiters squat down at my table. I find it a bit “over-familiar” and invasive. Many people share this reaction. My subjective reaction, however, may not reflect the attitudes of most people.

You can probably figure out why squatting may work. It puts you eye to eye with your guest. You’re not standing above them looking down on them! You are “on the same level” so to speak. But the atmosphere of the restaurant may be important. Squatting down at the table is a bit casual, and in a fine dining restaurant such casual behavior may not be appropriate.

On the other hand, if you work at the local pub grill, squatting may be just the thing. This does not mean, however, that you’ll want to squat down every time you go over to the table. Squatting when you first go over, or when you’re taking the order, and then standing the rest of the time, is probably best. Otherwise, it would become intrusive quite quickly.

Your best bet is to take the formality of your restaurant into account and them make an effort to “judge the table.” Some folks may just react differently and have different expectations. Despite many loud protestations to the contrary, for the most part, squatting is well-taken. According to Lynn, Outback Steakhouse seems to be encouraging their waiters to squat. 4

Writing “Thank You” On Checks

I have to say, a nice thank you on my check, and signed with the waiter’s name, makes all the difference to me. That few seconds of time taken to write anything on my check, will usually make me want to tip more! Not long ago, our wonderful female waiter, who was in training, but pulled everything off as if she was a seasoned veteran (which I pointed out to her trainer), wrote on our ticket “Thanks for being such a wonderful table to train on!” Yeah, she got a great big tip. She would have gotten a big tip regardless, but that personal note caused me to insist on an additional 5 bucks.

According to the research available, adding thank you to a check increases the tip by the same amount as writing thank you and signing your name. I find the extra touch of signing your name to make me feel a tad more happy, but you be the judge. You could try it both ways and see what happens.

Why we tip more when a waiter writes thank you is uncertain. Perhaps we want to earn that gratitude with a bigger tip. Regardless, it works. If it were me, I’d write my own little personal variations of thank you, as long as it was appreciative and friendly. I remember a waiter at our usual steakhouse (who always remembers us, amazing) who wrote “I LOVED being your server tonight. Thank you!” Yes, she capitalized loved. I loved it.

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Drawing a Happy Face on Checks

The happy face. This is a trick that many female waiters seem to know. Or, maybe women just like to draw happy faces. Whatever the case, lots of female waiters do it, and evidence suggests it increases tips. A happy face means happy. When you draw one, it tends to mean you were happy to serve your customers. It also makes the interaction a bit more personal. A happy face can make a grumpy customer smile.

Male waiters do not tend to draw happy faces on checks. Perhaps, drawing a happy face is seen as feminine. The question, then, is whether it works as well for males as for females. According to one experiment, it does not. In fact, the male waiter in the experiment received less tips from his happy face customers than he did for his non-happy face customers. What’s a guy to do?

Well, just as for squatting, drawing happy faces, in general, may be too informal for some fine dining restaurants, so both male and female waiters may want to avoid it unless they work in a casual enough atmosphere.1

As to why happy faces don’t work for men, well, there is still limited research, and one study does not prove anything.

If happy faces are indeed out for men, we still don’t know exactly why. This also does not mean that other kinds of drawings, like little cartoons, would not be effective. My suggestion to male waiters would be to draw something “happy” but masculine. Don’t ask me what that may be.

Lynn mentions a picture of a lobster claw at an upscale seafood restaurant. Maybe at a sports-themed restaurant you could draw a picture of a football or something. I suspect that this is one of those things that’s going to work better for females. Males may want to write a nice personal note. Alas, males are tipped less in general.

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Should You Use All of These Behaviors, or Some of Them

There is no advantage to pulling out all the stops and using every single behavior on this list. You’ll just drive yourself crazy. Where one of two of these positive behaviors may increase your tips, piling them all on top of each other will not have any additive effects.

Your customers may be willing to tip more, but they have an upper threshold for how much they can be influenced to add. Using too many of these techniques may backfire, becoming too overwhelming to your customers. Most customers would agree that there is a fine balance between professional warmth and friendliness and saccharin ingratiation.

Some of these behaviors are indispensable, as they are not only conducive to tipping but are simply the basics of being a professional waiter. Smiling is not optional and most any restaurant manager will agree. As well, introducing yourself is usually considered a fundamental behavior. Both of these are effective. You may want to develop a habit of using both of these behaviors and experimenting with one of the other behaviors. You could, of course, mix it up.

In general, the key is being warm, positive, friendly, and helpful. Keep yourself well-groomed (use plenty of deodorant!), and keep your clothing neat and tidy. I don’t have to tell you that NONE of these behaviors will matter if you fall short on the basics. Speed and attentiveness (but not over-attentiveness) are just as important to the tip as all these techniques. Menu knowledge is essential as well.

Avoid thinking of this as a game where you are trying to trick your customer into tipping more. The problem with this type of attitude is that it will be much more difficult for you to make it natural and for you to self-regulate the behavior so that it becomes an automatic (and genuine) extension of your professionalism.

Another way to increase tips, but which may be out of your control, has to do with credit cards in restaurants.

Waiter Tip: Don’t Ask Your Customers “Do You Need Change?”

Bonus Tip: Become a Customer

If you are really committed to finding ways to increase your tips, then do your research. Go out to dinner and experience being a restaurant guest as often as possible at many different restaurants (depending on what you can afford).

Try to take off your waiter hat and put on your customer hat. Try to be objective and pay attention to your own reactions to the service and the behavior of the waiter, both positive and negative. Chances are that how you feel is how most people would feel.

Know that there may be factors beyond your control that influence tips. You don’t cook the food, you didn’t design the restaurant, etc. If you work at a bad restaurant, no matter how loyal you feel, the only way to increase your tips may be to find a better restaurant.

Another tip: Ask the veteran. Perhaps there is a friendly and knowledgeabke veteran waiter on the staff who could give you some hard-earned tips!

Not Everyone Agrees With These Methods

Be aware that many in the industry might question the validity of any or all of these methods. For example, one fellow named Steve DiGioia, who wrote a book called Earn More Tips on Your Very Next Shift: Even If You’re a Bad Waiter, says:

I won’t waste your time telling you to crouch down table-side when you take the orders. I won’t tell you to lightly touch the guest sometime during their meal, nor to give a mint or piece of candy to the guest when you present the check. This is the nonsense I read from other “experts” in the field of making bigger tips. This is insulting and demeans the professionalism of thousands of experienced waiters.

Now, I personally find it suspect that someone who says he can help even ‘bad waiters’ earn big tips immediately is suddenly concerned with professionalism. This also seems to assume that all waiters work in formal fine dining restaurants, or should behave as if they do, which is questionable at best.

But, apparently, his book is about improving your customer service so perhaps it is about turning bad waiters into good waiters. Although this would mean the title of the book makes no sense, because it doesn’t really teach you how to be a bad waiter and still make more tips, the author has been in the hotel & restaurant business, “in one manner” for over 25 years, so we can ignore the irony of telling a bad waiter they will make bigger tips by becoming, essentially, a better waiter.

For myself, one glance at the beginning of this book, with its judgmental description of some of the waiters the author supposedly knew, was enough. The author also incorrectly states that federal law allows a tipped employee to be paid much less than the federal minimum wage, which it does not. This is a frequently stated myth and you can read more about it in the article Is It True That Waiters Do Not Make Minimum Wage?

As it stands, most people base their advice for bigger tips on personal experience, or what would be called “anecdotal evidence.” Although the experience of others is something that you should definitely consider, as I’ve already stated, do not consider personal experience more valid than the type of evidence I’ve presented here.

The few studies that I have discussed are just the tip of the iceberg regarding investigating tipping behavior from a social psychology or sociological standpoint, and all of this should be considered more credible evidence for general application than any one person’s personal experience.

Given all this, some of the tips in the book are quite straightforward and sensible, such as not calling everybody at a table “guys.” I couldn’t agree more! His reason for discounting the types of methods found here? Because he thinks they are dumb and because they were repeated on a bunch of blogs and other publications.

Basically, the author dismisses these things based on his personal feelings, offers no counter-evidence against them, and absolutely fails to recognize that these ideas are commonplace because they are based on the results of experimental research.

Dismissing all other ideas besides those that pertain to your personal belief system may make for an entertaining 94 page book, but certainly could not explore the only possible ways to increase your tips. He says it all when he states “I don’t need anyone’s help to write this book.” The common-sense advice given in the book is no doubt helpful, but to state that all other advice is useless is a bit over-zealous, to say the least.

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Bonus Tips for Waiters to Earn Higher Tips

The following tips don’t necessarily have published research behind them but are standard industry guidelines that all waiters should know. Hopefully, the head waiter or whoever is in charge of training will have taught their waiters most of these steps but in reality, many restaurant servers are given minimal training and must learn how to be effective on their own. Perhaps these additional guidelines will help.

Acknowledge Your Guests Within 30 Seconds of Seating, When Possible

You cannot always greet your guests immediately. You may have one or more tables to tend to before you can get to newly seated guests. However, this does not mean you cannot acknowledge their presence.

When guests sit for too long at a table without a waiter acknowledging their presence, they consider it rude. While your guest (usually) can understand you are busy and may not be able to greet them at the table right away, they do expect some basic signal that you are aware of their presence and will tend to them as soon as possible.

It is this fact that leads some waiters to believe diners are impatient and expect always to be served right away. Many times, they simply want to be acknowledged so they know they aren’t being ignored.

One of the worst things you can do as a waiter is to walk past a table of newly seated guests and ignore them! A quick smile, a friendly hand wave, and even better, saying ‘I’ll be right with you as soon as I’ve helped another guest,” may be all that is needed to start their visit off well and put them in the right mood.

If you are at a table and a newly seated table is nearby, acknowledge them as best you can without making the guest you are serving feel like your attention is divided.

Anticipate Your Guests Needs

If you work at a barbecue restaurant that serves the best ribs in town, what’s the number one thing your guests will need? Extra napkins! If they have kids, no matter the restaurant, extra napkins will always be appreciated.

Pay attention to what your guests order and anticipate their needs or desires. Everybody is eating fries and there is no ketchup at the table? Don’t make them ask!

Bring the Right Psychology to the Job

Many people view serving tables as a low-class job where people work for slave wages and are usually there to pay the bills while they try to become an actor, lawyer, doctor, etc. Many people, in fact, wholeheartedly believe that waiters don’t even make minimum wage and rely almost exclusively on tips and so can barely squeak by in the best of times.

Although they think that telling people this will help waiters by encouraging people to tip more, it only serves to reinforce the stereotypes: serving tables is a bottom-rung position that is done by the unskilled for extremely low wages. Without your “handout” waiters can’t survive.

Unfortunately, many waiters believe all this as well. If you believe this about yourself and think that you are working for handouts, then you are almost guaranteeing that you will earn low tips. Tips should not be thought of as a handout but as an acknowledgment of professionalism, skill, and extraordinary service.

It is a very difficult job that requires a great deal of skill and attention to many details at once to do well. View yourself as a consummate professional, always looking to improve, and your guests will view you the same way. Awe them with how good you are!

Then, they will tip you because, to them, you are the best and they want to tell you in the standard way our culture lets waiters know when they are appreciated. And, while there will always be difficult customers and curmudgeons, if you do your job as a true professional in a challenging environment, not only will they appreciate you but they will respect and admire you.

If you hate what you are doing the guests will know it and they will have no respect nor sympathy for you. They will simply feel uncomfortable and cheated out of a good dining experience. This will be reflected in your low or nonexistent tips. Show you care about what you do, that you care about your guests, and that you have pride in yourself. I guarantee you that if you do these things your guests will respond.

NEVER Complain

Never complain to guests about anything. How busy it is. How another customer treated you (more to say on this below). How your feet are sore. Nothing.

I remember one of the biggest tips we ever gave was at a chain steakhouse. It was very busy so we were seated at a booth in the bar area. The restaurant was short-staffed so our waiter was acting as the bartender and waiting all the tables in the bar area all by herself. And she was pulling it off spectacularly. Fortunately, only a few people were sitting at the bar, but the tables were full.

Not only did she manage to serve all her guests quickly, she did it all in stride. She was positive, warm, and made us feel like we were the only guests in the room, despite the fact that we obviously were one among many.

We commented on how busy she was and how she was having to tend bar and wait tables at the same time. Here, she had an opportunity to complain. While acknowledging they the restaurant was short-staffed, but in a positive way, she made a joke out of the situation and never even issued the hint of a complaint.

In the end, we were left marveling at how good she was while having a pleasant dinner and dining experience. We tipped the maximum and always recognize her when we go back. Amazingly, she recognizes us, showing that her warmth was never feigned. She just cared that much and her guests actually made an impression on her. Probably, she made big tips that night.

While you can’t always have more tables than you can handle, and while some restaurants give waiters too few tables, you can maximize the opportunity for tips by viewing yourself as what you are: a professional.

In a way, the restaurant business is a hospitality show. But you, the waiter, are not an actor. You are the show. You are the person who makes it all come together into a pleasant, comforting, and delicious experience.